Winter is not a "Fresh Start"

And in just a blink, here we are, two weeks into February. If you have been here a bit or seen my social media, you know that I am not a fan of the whole “new year, new me” bullshittery. Yes, the Gregorian calendar says that we started a new year January 1st. We flipped a page, bought a fancy new planner, some of us did the optimistic goal setting thing that may or not be sticking. Then reality shows up. Life is lifey. For those of us in the northern hemisphere, it is cold and dark. Hell, my nervous system is still processing WTF happened last year, last month… Honestly, that feels pretty fucking reasonable to me too.

Biologically, energetically, and seasonally, January is not actually a big fresh start. We are in the dead of fucking winter. The part of the year, where for most of human history, was about conserving energy, staying warm, going inward Winter is not meant to be a hustle season, it is meant to be for rest, reflection, and recalibration not massive reinvention. Here we are though. In a cultural norm where we put pressure on ourselves to give our entire lives an overhaul in the middle of the season of rest but then we wonder why we feel exhausted, unmotivated, and behind by February.

The Lunar New Year is February 17th, so that means, energetically, we are still in the Year of the Snake. We have not shifted to the next cycle. We have not transitioned into that outward, fiery, forward moving energy yet. Snake energy is more introspective, strategic. Where we are shedding old skins, habits, patterns, not sprinting to the new. It is quieter. Which, if we are being fully honest, feels more aligned to winter and the ish that so many of us are currently experiencing.

I believe that many of us are addicted to the idea of a fresh start. An opportunity that feels clean. Hopeful. Like we can simply shut the door on everything that is hard, painful, unfinished, and unresolved. That we can step magically into a new version of ourselves that is healed, motivated. The fresh start that promises relief. Distance. To no longer feel consumed by exhaustion and overwhelm. This promise is alluring and seductive.

Without realizing it, the “new year, new me” can quietly be avoidance. No out of laziness or an unwillingness to grow, but because so many of us want relief no. Often, we just want to skip the part where we feel better, where we have the transformation without the messy process in the middle. Where we sit and embrace the uncomfortable. The bumps. Roadblocks. We just want to turn back on last year, and what happened. But the integration of all that ish does not look good on a vision board. It is easier to close that book and put it on the shelf, trash can, light that shit on fire…

Real, lasting change does not come from pretending that the past is simply over though. It comes from digesting it. Acknowledging. Letting the ish settle in your mind and body. We get to notice what still gets activated, what still gets to be processed, what still feels heavy. The integration of this is the bridge between simply surviving and authentically thriving. When we avoid this, we can often end up more exhausted, dysregulated, and convinced that we are doing something wrong. That something is wrong with us simply because we are not on the timeline that we think we “should” be, the timeline that society seems to be on.

What if we didn’t make January about being a whole brand new version of you? What if we took slower, more intentional care of the current version of you. The one that exists right now. The one that is tired. That is still processing. The one that has been living in survival mode and hasn’t had a change to breath yet.

Embracing and honoring this season does not mean that you are giving up or that you lost ambition or that you failed. It is an opportunity to shift focus from forcing change to creating safety within yourself that naturally encourages change. Growth. It shifts the energy from performance to presence. Takes you from “what should I be doing?” to “what does my system need now?”

Here is where we get to have a gentler transition. Where we get to let those transformations form slowly. Fully integrating them instead of demanding, forcing before you are ready. You allow yourself to integrate instead of bypass. This is not bypassing. This is building a foundation that holds long term instead of being part of the 1 in 10 people where their resolutions fail in the first month. It is an opportunity for change to feel safe instead of a threat. Where you don’t have to guilt and punish yourself into becoming somebody new. Where momentum comes naturally because your nervous system trusts you and this transformation brings you joy. Often, this forced change is how we stay stuck in cycles. We go out hard, saying this time will be different. That we will be better now. That we should have it all figured out. Then, when things don’t look the way we think it should, that adds a new layer of disappointment, judgement, shame to what we already carry.

So maybe New Year’s and January don’t need to be loud. They don’t need to be grand and impressive. They get to be quiet, reflective, tender, and full of self-love (sailor joke). There are 40 different New Year’s globally. If you aren’t where you want to be after January, it is ok. It is ok to let this season be a time for you to take root before you rise in Spring.

If you are tired of trying to push forward, my work is about helping you to integrate what you have lived through, to slow down and regulate your nervous system, creating lasting change without burnout and self abandonment. Healing doesn’t have to be aggressive or feel like a fight. Schedule a Free Freedom Formula call by emailing [email protected] I am here to meet you where you are instead of where you think you should be.

And Remember

You Matter